. . . when you watch Star Wars and they
say "May the force be with you,” you automatically reply "And also with
you.”
. . .if the only good reason to raise your hand during a hymn is to
question the organist's re-harmonization.
. . . if someone says, "Let us pray" and you automatically hit your
knees.
. . . if you recognize your neighbor, or rector, in the local liquor
store and go over to greet him/her.
. . . if you have totally memorized Rite I, Rite II and the first three
episodes of “The Vicar of Dibley.”
. . . if you know the difference between a surplice and a cotta - and
the appropriate use of each.
. . . if hearing people pray in the language of "jesuswejus" makes you
want to scream.
. . . if words like: "vouchsafe", "oblation", "supplications", "succor",
"bewail", "wherefore", "dost" and "very" (in its archaic sense) are
familiar to you even if you don't have a clue what they mean.
. . .if your groomsmen at your wedding whisper "with God's help" to you
during your vows after you say "I will".
. . . the sight of a woman in a clerical collar doesn't make you
cringe.
. . . if you can rattle off such tongue twisters like: ". . . who made
thereby his one oblation of himself once offered a full and perfect
sacrifice, oblation and satisfaction for the sins of the world" and
"Wherefore, O Lord and Heavenly Father, we thy people, do celebrate and
make here, with these gifts which we offer unto thee, the memorial thy
Son hath commanded us to make . . ." without missing a beat.
. . .if you think that the Bible is a holy book because it quotes the
Book of Common Prayer so well.
. . . if while looking for a can opener in the church kitchen, all you
can find are four corkscrews.
. . . if your choir director suggests discussing something over a beer
after choir rehearsal.
. . . if you catch yourself genuflecting or bowing as you enter a row of
seats in a theater.
. . . you visit any Protestant church, and when you get seated you say,
"where are the kneelers?"
. . . or, "where is the altar?!"
. . . if you can pronounce "innumerable benefits procured unto us by the
same."
. . . if the word "Sewanee" puts a lump in your throat.
. . . if you know the best way to quiet a room full of them: "The Lord
be with you!"
. . . if you ever find yourself saying, "Oh, but we've never done it
that way before."
. . . if, when visiting a Catholic Church, you are the only Ah-men
amongst a sea of A-mens.
. . . if your covered dish for the potluck dinner is escargot in puff
shells.
. . .if you know that a primate isn't just a monkey.
. . . if you know that a sursum corda is not a surgical
procedure.
. . . if you don't think Agnus Dei is a woman.
. . . if your picnic basket has sterling knives and forks (entree, fish,
salad and cake).
. . .you know how to finish the phrase "and I will raaaaise them up, and
I will raaaaise them up..."
. . . if you know that the Nave is not a playing card.
. . . if you look for a can opener in your parish kitchen and can't find
one. But you do find 4 wine bottle corkscrews.
. . . if your friend said "I'm truly sorry. . ." and you replied, "and
you humbly repent?"
. . .if you consider a sticker on your car to be an outward and visible
sign of an inward and spiritual grace.
. . .if you know that "humble access" has nothing to do with a security
clearance.
. . . if while watching the movie "The Madness of King George" you're
able to recite with the King, when he undergoes "surgery," the Collect
for Purity.
. . . if you know that the Senior Warden and the Junior Warden are not
positions in the local prison.
. . . if you think the most serious breach of propriety one can commit
is failure to chill the salad forks.
. . . if you not only talk about God, but God is placed in the palm of
your hand.
And finally,
. . . if you reach a point when you're not sure about anything
theologically but you still feel completely at home at the altar rail
and somehow know you're meeting God there, even though you can't begin
to understand how.
--Copied, Author Unknown